Saturday, June 4, 2016

The Transition to Full-Time

For years I've been in either boy-mode or girl-mode. Some people like to say en femme instead of girl-mode, but that's because they think French is somehow more feminine or something. Me? I like saying girl-mode because I'm more like a transformer who can shift between modes. I can be a boy or a girl. Plus no one ever called boy-mode en homme, so my terminology is therefore inherently better. At work I'm in boy-mode and when I get dressed up in a wig, makeup, body shaping gear and a dress I'm in girl-mode. But that has brought me to an interesting point in my transition. How do you advance the binary modes if you have to "dress up" to change into girl-mode?

This came up this weekend because I had a three day weekend with plans to go into girl-mode Friday, Saturday and Monday (though not Sunday because we had plans with people I'm not yet out to). But this Memorial Day was so hot and muggy in NYC and we had spent so much time being social that all I wanted to was nothing. So I did the week's cooking, devoured the highly entertaining book Mortal Engines and then sat on my couch playing Civ for most of the evening (and sadly until 2am because it's an addictive game). My partner asked me why I hadn't gone into girl-mode that day. Why hadn't I?

Now I face a similar question. You see I have a stay-cation planned for next week and my plan is to spend eleven days in girl-mode. There are plenty of fun things I have planned including some more landmark photos, some serious shopping, and maybe even try out a tankini on the beach if I'm brave enough. But then there's other things I have planned. Things like watching Netflix, eating frozen pizzas, petting my cat and lounging around the house. Now this brings up a good question. Can I do girl-mode and lazy home mode at the same time? Do you do the female voice when no one is around?

Full time women (be they cis or trans) don't need to get into girl-mode. They don't need to shave or put on a wig or makeup to be girls. They don't wear dresses and makeup when they're watching TV and petting the cat. But I do. Or at least I feel like I have to. Maybe I don't. Already I feel like I'm half way there. I mean, I don't put on sweat pants when I get home from work. I take off my work clothes and put on yoga pants or a maxi-skirt. I guess the only thing I need to do differently is to put on a women's t-shirt instead of a men's. Maybe some boy shorts or a sports bra. Then I'm basically at where a full time woman would be.

Honestly, the hormones and laser have gotten me a long way. My hair is still the real sticking issue for me. Until my hairline is fixed I'm not comfortable coming out full time or coming out at work. But I might just be able to pull off full-time while I'm on vacation. I bought some new women's T-shirts, I bought a new short wig that still hasn't arrive but will hopefully look okay and I think I can manage to be a homebody even in girl-mode. I'll just put on makeup and my wig before I leave the house. I think there are plenty of full time women who do the same routine.

Then I can do my real test and see how eleven days as a full time woman goes. Right now I'm excited and I think it'll be a lot of fun.

Also, they should really make a Mortal Engines version of Civilization. Imagine that! Getting to build a city that you drive around the map. Devouring other civilization's cities and barbarian camps. Sending our airships and spies to scout the map and building stalkers to assault the Anti-Tractionist fortresses. I would love that game so much!

Okay. Gotta read the second book in the series. Hope it's as good or maybe better!


  1. Hiya I am really happy for you, That your find your way in your new life !

    I cant say how girly you can be in great pair of fitted black girl trousers, Spend little more on some good tailoring ! The a must next to LBD in girls wardrobe !

    I may sound like broken record but the cut is everything you find that you prob not need any padding as some of the new ones have bit of stretch and even shape-ing built in thought Knickers can be bit of night mare as we don't want a visible panty line or any other lumps and bumps !

    Try a crop or 7/8 length for modern look with crisp white shirt with ballet pumps for daytime and heels if you need bit more sexiness !! (You may want to get t-shirt or lace bra as some top are sheer)

    check out this pic for easy day look Thats Obber girly !!!!

    1. Thanks, Jenifer. That is a totally cute look. Trousers are something I need to think about long term, but, like cis women, I'm having trouble finding some that really fit me well. But hopefully I'll find some cute ones.

  2. I am bit more naturally curvy lets say (ok fat girl US 12 uk 16) and little old (ok quit bit) there not cheep but try NYDJ jean's and they do smart trousers and dress these days , they have built in spanx style shaping they make my ass look huge in good way !!! lol

    Ps your up early for Sunday morning in new york its lot later in the uk !!

  3. Sure hope that you enjoy your vacation or staycation and post lots of stories and pictures. Will you be going to the theater or museums? Or just staying close to home?
    Might be kind of fun to just go to a park and read and watch others, or to a mall (not sure which ones are in the city or even if there are any) or out to an evening or two dining and dancing. I am a ballroom dancer and just love being lead around the floor dancing backwards in heels.
    Anyhow hope that you have a fabulous time.

    1. Dancing? Not quite my thing. But I have managed a lot of a fun stuff and still plenty of more fun for the weekend.