1. First off I love not wearing guy's clothes. Seriously. I hated shirts and ties and all that garbage. Guy's dress shoes? Ugh. What's funny is that I didn't get rid of all my guy clothes actually. I kept one pair of jeans and a handful of T-shirts. The T-shirts are all from concerts and non-replaceable, so they have some emotional weight to them. I didn't want to throw them out, but I also haven't worn them. I have plenty of girl T-shirts and I've been trying to find girl shirts for the bands I like, but haven't been having much luck. Girls' tees are cut differently and thus they're more expensive and most of the female fronted indie and punk bands I like don't have the money for expensive merch. Also I still have guy sneakers because I haven't bothered trying to find feminine sneakers. How feminine can they really be? Well, my sneakers are pretty busted now, so they'll need to be replaced anyway. Either way, my closet is 100% girls' clothes like it should be and my dresser is like 95%. It's nice.
2. I've been really bad about documenting my life now. You know, when I first moved to NYC and was finally free from my family I started dressing up like a girl openly and more often. Back then, what I'd usually do is get dressed up then take a lot of photos. This gradually shifted to videos. In fact, when I finally got my very own apartment, I actually bought a photo backdrop and lights so I could take the best possible pictures and make the best possible videos. Eventually though, I just shifted to selfies and the occasional full body shots when my partner is nice enough to snap a few shots for me. But now that I'm "dressing up" every day, my desire to endlessly snap photos has waned pretty heavily. C'mon, when I first started this blog all my posts were like "here are new photos!" and now they're like "Here's my life." I'll let people choose which they like better. And I'll still try and find time for adventures that are worthy of photos.
3. Somehow I'm still getting up at the same time every morning and only managing to leave about ten minutes later than I used to. My makeup is now down to a 20 minute process. So the great question is, what was I doing with my whole morning before? I don't even remember. Also, I've pretty much gotten my daily makeup look down pretty well. I've been going with basically the same look every day; neutral eye, basic black eyeliner, basic brownish-black mascara, light contouring, wine-with-everything lips and no gloss. It works for me pretty well and dang if I haven't gotten some compliments from coworkers are on how good my makeup looks! Yay!
4. As my partner and I discussed in one episode of the critically acclaimed podcast, The Gender Rebels, it's hard to shift from crossdresser to average girl. For me specifically I finally see why girls don't actually have tons and tons of fancy cocktail dresses. You never wear them! In fact, I organized my closet thusly; cocktail dresses > casual summer dresses > work dresses > tops > skirts > coats. That left hand side of the closet is going mightily unused. And I wish I had more basic work clothes. But, it's really nice that I can now justify clothing purchases because the dress I'm buying is literally for work!
5. Also, once upon a time I thought that when I finally went full time I'd just wear dresses. "I'll wear nothing but dresses and skirts for the first year," I'd think to myself "No pants at all!" I'm wearing jeans right now as I type this. Ah well. There went that. But c'mon seriously, it's below freezing out there. A girl can only be so girly. Sometimes you just gotta rock the jeans.
6. I want more laser. Or possibly electrolysis too. I don't know. What laser I've had has been good. I mean, I can manage only the lightest of cover up and I can go a whole day without worrying about any hair showing up. But I still feel like I have to shave every day for passabilities sake. I still have one more laser session but I doubt it's going to completely rid me of hair. To really get to the point where I have no hair on my face, I am going to probably need electrolysis at some point.
And as for living my life...it's been good. I don't think I pass super well but I haven't had any problems, work is going really well, my voice is sort of okay, though I've been getting way more practice. Wigs are something I just have to deal with for now and honestly right now the fact that my passability is dependent on wearing wigs is my biggest source of trans-stress. But in a few months that'll end and I'll be able to go out with my own hair. That'll be a huge step and I'm really looking forward to it.
In the mean time though, full time is good. It totally feels normal to me. It's kind of hard to explain but it's not as big a deal as I thought it would be. I still wish my voice were better, I still wish I was skinny and petite, I still wish I had long curly chestnut locks of my own. Some things I can't change but some things I can and hopefully those will be changing for the better as I progress. But in the mean time I'll be getting up every day, putting on my makeup and girling the hell out of this world!