Friday, February 23, 2018

I'm Done with Wigs! And Not Happy About It

When I had my hair transplant stitches removed last week, I asked the doctor when I could start wearing wigs again. After all he had said hats were okay, so I figured wigs would be the same. Wigs are really just specialized hats right? But, he said that I should avoid wigs for extended wear, like "seven or eight hours." My first thought upon hearing that was "so not at work." This made me a little nervous. 

See, for years I've worn wigs and since I came out full time I've worn them almost every day for work. Wigs, itchy and annoying though they are, can be seriously helpful in passing. Sure, there have been plenty of occasions where I wear a pony tail with a headband to hide my hairline, but with my new hair growing in, that will no longer work. So, for the next eight months or longer (until my natural hair looks normal), it looks like I'll be wearing hats to work every day.

So you think I'd be super happy about that right? I mean, I've written countless times about how much I hate wigs. After I get home the first thing I usually do is take the wig off as quickly as possible. I can't wait to take them off. It feels so nice. Getting rid of wigs forever must feel equally nice right?

But the other day at work I was looking at myself in the bathroom mirror and felt a little depressed. I had been so used to how my wigs looked that seeing myself without them made me feel ugly. It made me feel like a gross, ugly, dude. And I found myself actually wishing that I could wear a wig.

Over the years I have gotten so used to having perfect shampoo commercial hair thanks to wigs, that it's going to take me some time to get used to my own natural hair. Having great hair makes me feel confident that I pass and that I'm pretty and feminine. Seeing my own light brown natural hair hang down scraggly at my shoulders strips my confidence away. It's going to take some getting used to. But, as others have said, transition is a marathon not a sprint. And transition requires patience above all else. 

On a good note though, we had a 78F day here in New York recently (in February!). I went out to take a long walk at lunch and it felt wonderful to feel the warmth and breeze. And I realized that the wind wasn't bothering me at all! Wind used to be the worst because it can wreck wigs and make them look terrible. Now, though I don't have shampoo commercial hair, I am no longer bothered by the wind. So that's a big plus. 

And I can always wear a wig and be pretty as hell for special occasions. Guess I better think up some special occasions to go out and celebrate. 

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