Also I should note real quick, before we get started, that these pictures have nothing to do with this post. I mean, they were taken this winter, but they have nothing to do with my mental health. They've just been piling up on my phone and I thought that I should share them. This seemed as good a time as any.
At no point in my life had I ever thought of myself as an anxious person. But once I started to do that a lot of my behaviors started to make sense. I had always worried about stuff. I was always overthinking everything. But I thought that was normal.
It was actually my partner Kath who really pushed me to try and get on some anti-anxiety medication. Go to your general practitioner at your next checkup, she'd say, and ask for anti-anxiety medication. Of course, I didn't want to do that. What if the doctor thought that I was a junkie making stuff up so I could score?
Also brain altering chemicals sort of frighten me. If a chemical can alter my personality, then who am I really? Of course, that's bunk because I've certainly been known to happily enjoy alcohol which is another mind altering chemical. Plus, I figured it was probably better to not take anti-anxiety meds because what if they made me too relaxed? What if there are things I should be worrying about? I don't know. I didn't like the idea of medication.
Eventually Kath was able to convince me to just ask. But it took like three visits before I was able to. I got some Zoloft and took it for three days. Then I stopped. The drug made me weirdly drowsy. And I say weirdly drowsy because I wasn't tired so much as I was just slow. So I stopped taking it.
So after all the shit went down this winter, I found myself at the end of my tether. Kath saw me and told me that I didn't have to be this happy. Thus, I started to take to my Zoloft again, drowsiness be damned. It's only been about a week, but I am doing better. That may completely unrelated, but it's nice to be doing better.
- Professional Life: My job is stable, if a little boring. I don't fit in with my more conservative and "normal" coworkers. But the work isn't stressful and the hours and pay are fairly good. B-
- Creative Life: My new book hasn't been picked up by publishers, but it's gotten great reviews from readers. My podcast is going pretty good. We just launched the Gender Rebels YouTube channel, and I'm a third of the way through my next novel. A
- Romantic Life: I have a wonderful and amazing partner to share my life with. A+
- Social Life: I have a good number of wonderful friends, and though the holidays and winter have slowed my social schedule, it'll gear back up. A+
- Mental Health: Winter and life have gotten me depressed and stressed. Anxiety and OCD aren't helping. But I'm taking doctor-recommended medication that may help. C-
- Physical Health: I'm healthy and have managed to cut back on my drinking. I could eat less and work out more. B+