Friday, November 17, 2017

One Whole Year Full Time!

Today marks the one year anniversary of my first day living full time. That's right, it's been a year! One whole orbit around the sun. So, on this auspicious occasion, I thought it would be fun to look back at this first year. It's been tough, it's been frustrating at times, it's brought me to my emotional breaking point, but it's also been wonderful and amazing. 

Back this time last year I came out at work. It's nice that work is now fairly mundane. And so many new people have started who only know me as Faith. That's made me feel a lot better. In the past year I've noticed that my female coworkers are all much more friendly toward me, while many of my male coworkers are way more standoffish. Yes, there have been a least a couple occasions when I broke down crying at work, but for the most part it's been good and mundane, the way work always is.

Though, I've got to say, I'm much, much happier not having to wear guys' clothes. I hated male clothes. It always felt like they never fit and I couldn't possibly look good in them. I especially hated guys' shoes. So in general I'd wear my shoes until they literally fell apart because I hated shopping for shoes so much. Now my closet is nothing but girls' clothes and it's so much nicer!

In November of last year I also reached my first year on HRT. Back in the day, the very idea of being on HRT was something I thought I would never achieve. But I made it a year! Now I'm actually on my second year and I'm loving the effects. They really do take a while to start working, but now with two years of HRT, the effects can definitely be seen. The idea of ever going back grosses me out. I like my new body, especially the lack of body hair! And the other effects are nice too. 

This year, I came out to my partner's Kath's parents and her whole family. We took a trip to Chicago and I attended a huge family function. It was stressful, but everyone was amazingly nice and super accepting. It was such a great trip.

Also I came out to my own parents! Granted, I'm not as close to them as I am to Kath's folks, but it's still nice to not have to hide who I am around them. My mom and her husband were also super supportive. And my dad was...well, he didn't react that badly. I got a one sentence response from him and haven't heard back since. That works for me.

Back in January, I got political in DC at the women's march (though I wish I didn't have to). There's enough politics on the rest of the internet, so I'll avoid talking about it too much, but it was a fun trip to DC and it was great to know that I wasn't the only one crying on that morning in November 2016.

Back in March I had a serious health scare that landed me in the ER, worried that I was dying of a heart attack. Turns out I just have a genetic issue with my heart that isn't life threatening. So that's good to know. But, sitting on that bed in the ER, thinking I was going to die any minute, I realized that I needed to get certain things in order. 

So I started working out, which I've managed to keep up for eight months now. And most importantly, I got my drinking under control. Both things have improved my life greatly. I sleep better, I no longer deal with frequent hangovers, and most fun of all, I've lost a good amount of weight. It was enough weight loss that I went down two dress sizes, sadly rendering half my closet unwearable. But that does mean I get to buy more clothes, so that's fun. 

My goal weight is in sight, though I have found myself slipping back from time to time. But I think this is a journey, and even if I have a lazy lapse or two, I'm still way better off than where I was even eight months ago. I haven't earned my bandage dress yet, but I did pick up this nice black one at the Guess store, because c'mon, how could I not? Plus it was on clearance. 

The biggest thing about my first year full time is realizing how normal being a girl is. When I was part time, I remember the deepest sting I felt was when, after a weekend dressed up, I would have to take off my clothes, wash off the makeup, and look into the mirror at a guy. In an instant the spell was broken. I was no longer a woman, but just another boring guy. It would break my heart to have to go back. But now there is no going back. My heart, heavy though it may be at times, remains steadfastly unbroken. This is me. This is who I am now. And I love it.

We'll see what year two brings. 


  1. Congratulations on your one year anniversary!

  2. Congrats You beautiful and have a lovely life and blog

  3. Wonderful story Faith, I do admire you, stay on and go for it Girl, courage!

  4. Wonderful story your first year fulltime woman, I do admire you very much, courage, stay on Girl! xxxxx

    1. Thank you so much, Ludo! I don't feel very brave, but as I often say, transition is a time when all of us get to discover how brave we really are. :)