Wednesday, October 14, 2015

A Guide to Cleavage

Everyone loves boobs. How can we not? They're the giver of life and can be used to sell lug wrench sets. Heck, half of the internet is devoted entirely to boobs.

But what do you do if you want boobs but nature didn't bother to give you the right XX chromosomes, you don't have the time to wait for estridiol pills to grow them for you, and you can't afford to get implants? Well, you just have to make them yourself!

It's easy. All you need is duct tape, some makeup and a nice low cut top to show off your fancy new dirty pillows. Over the years many people have seen my photos and have asked how I managed to have such lovable, motor-boatable fun bags (that's generally how they phrase the question).

So, in the interest of making this world a better place, I thought I'd take a moment and do a quick how-to guide. Here we go, this is Faith DaBrooke's official guide to creating super sexy boob cleavage!

By viewing this image you agree that you won't sue me if you try any of this. 

Let's start with a list of supplies. Actually before we do that, I should mention that you should shave your whole chest area, underarms, etc. in case you aren't. I mention that because you never know with some people. So here's the list of products I used today.

  • Rimmel London #002 Smokey Brun Quad Eye Shadow - I like having a few different shades of brown that are darker than my skin tone.  
  • NYX ESB02 White Pearl Eye Shadow Primer - great for highlights. 
  • Rimmel London 001 Transparent Natural Bronze Powder - this is a seriously light beige powder, lighter than my normal skin tone. 
  • Wet & Wild 250B Sugar white eye shadow. This is a high pigment white shimmery eye shadow. Also good for highlights. 
  • ID BareMinerals- I have these in a few different beige/browns and used them for both highlights and shadows. 
  • NYX Push Up Bra Eyebrow Pencil - great for bold highlight lines and bold shadow lines. 
  • Regular foundation. This I used when I messed up and needed to even things out. 
Really it doesn't matter exactly what products you use as long as you have some flesh toned shadows and highlights.

Creating fake fun bags involves the same thing as contouring with makeup or shading when you're drawing. You want to create shadows for some areas and highlights for others. Okay, so I started with some slightly dark brown eye shadow and my first step is to create the edge of where my boobs would be. As you can see I'm drawing this about two inches or so from my nipple. This is the edge of the boob.

For my next step I want to use a slightly lighter shade of the eye shadow and my blending brush to create a shadow around where my boob would be. Start at the base and brush your way up because you want your boobs to be darkest at the base and blend naturally at the top.

Okay I should mention that some of these photos use flash photography and some don't. So my skin tone will vary a little bit between shots.

The next step is to add some highlights. You want to put your highlights around the top of the boob. I suggest a half-circle motion above the top of the nipple. I'm using the Bare Essentials highlights here, basically taking a super light beige powder and adding it around the nipple to give us some faux depth. The idea is that the highlighted areas are projecting out toward the viewer and the shaded areas are further away.

One departure from this basic idea is that you'll want a nice highlight between your breasts. This highlight should go right from the base up to the top and blend naturally with the area of your chest between your boobs and collar. I also used my NYX pearl eye shadow base for a highlight and also my NYX Push Up Brow pencil.

Don't be stingy about blending either. And remember that it's okay to make mistakes. You can always add more highlight or more shadow as you go.

Next you'll want to add the duct tape. Don't let it scare you. A lot of people think duct tape will hurt and are terrified of putting it on their skin. I think that's unfounded. I've used it many, many times on my skin without incident. One thing I will say is to always shave the area first. Most of the pain associated with duct tape comes from it pulling hairs out by the roots. If there's no hair for it to stick on to then it's pretty painless. Also, if you're worried, just take a shower with the duct tape on your skin. The hot water will loosen the glue and you'll be able to pull it off easily.

Next we'll tape. But first make sure you're skin is nice and dry first or the skin won't stick.

Start by tearing off a 12-14" strip of the tape. Usually, I'll tear that length-wise to produce a 1/2" by 14" strip of tape. Pull your boob area up and toward the middle and put the tape on the bottom, pressing tightly. Then pull up the other side and apply tape there.

Once you have that set you can apply some additional pieces of tape. As you apply each piece of tape, you want to be sure pull your skin & fat in and up.

Apply other strips of tape as needed. Remember not to go any higher than your nipple. And if you don't have pasties be careful around your nipples - they can be a little sensitive. Also I think I'll take this opportunity to point out that I'm not legally liable for any thing if you follow these directions which I've provided for entertainment purposes only.

When I did this I used four strips of tape. The first two were thinner but then the last two were full sized to help hold the who thing on better.

Next, I tend to add an extra small piece to the side, just to help keep everything from peeling off. Yes, there have been times when I've made myself some awesome boobs early in the night only to sweat under my dress and have to discard a damp wadded up handful of ductape in a bathroom trashcan. So yeah, the extra pieces can help.

So now we're done!

Okay maybe not quite. You can see here that I've manged to smear the shadow just above my boobs where it should really be highlighted. I'll need to clean that up with some foundation. You can see in the picture below that I'm using a sponge to blend the makeup a little more. 

Once you have your bra or clothes on it's a good time to check and see how everything looks. You can always add some more shadow or highlights. Often, I find that adding more highlight in to the top of the boob can really make them stand out. 

So yeah, that's really it. You'll want to practice to make sure you get it looking as best as you can, but in general it's quite simple. 

Now go have fun with your boobs and be sure to make sure no tape is sticking out of your dress! Or you can always use black tape which tends to blend in with black underwear pretty well. 

Here's a few of my favorite boob jobs!

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