At this point I have crossed a lot of finish lines. I've come out at work, come out to most of my family, I've completed my long name-change checklist. My drivers' license and passport both officially list me as a girl.
|Girl life loading....|
When I was older I dug through the musty card catalogs and found the couple of library books that mentioned transgender topics and read them all. Later the internet happened and I started reading everything I could; transgirls' blogs, hormones, surgeries. I watched videos, followed blogs, read every story I could.
I remember thinking "Sure, I wish I were a girl. But it's not realistic. Like, how I also wish I could fly, but that's not realistic either."
Then I would get depressed about how I hadn't transitioned and start considering myself a failure. I'd grow jealous of the people who had transitioned successfully. "I wish I were a girl" would start echoing through my head and I'd daydream elaborate fantasies where I had transitioned and thus the whole process would start all over again.
|Pictured: The author living in the future.|
So now this is just my life. And I love my life. The good members of my family support me. Work accepts me. Most importantly my partner supports me. I'm being more creative than I have been in years, I'm having fun adventures, I'm being politically active for the first time in my life and I am developing a sense of transpride. Plus by not having to wear boy clothes ever I've cut my wardrobe costs significantly, so there you go.
|More money for NYC Ballet tickets.|
But then I remember not too because you don't want to go back and mess with the timeline. That's a bad idea.