In part this is because my hairline is still suffering from male-pattered baldness. It's not bad, nowhere near as bad as I once thought, but definitely noticeable. For the past twelve years I'd kept my head shaved, precisely to avoid looking bald, but it's actually not bad at all. At least for a guy. For a girl it doesn't work. Still I'm taking finesteride/propecia and I think it's been helping. Hopefully I can avoid $8,000 worth of hair plugs. Hopefully, because I can't friggin' afford that!
And my other hair is growing out, Almost to the point that I can pull off a Twiggy look like this. Almost.
My in-laws are particularly tricky because I'm much closer to them than I am with my blood family. And it's double-tricky because I'm also sort of outing their kid as dating a transgender person. That's a lot to handle. I am, needless to say, rather frustrated by everything. And I'm especially frustrated by my own lack of courage.
It was actually my own lack of courage that screwed me out of something that I was really looking forward to. I was looking forward to being Faith at my friend's wedding. It's difficult for me to relay how excited I was. I would get to be me at an important social occasion with many of my good friends in attendance. It would feel so validating to be there at that important moment as a girl, accepted by friends and celebrating together. It was a June wedding but I think I had my dress picked out even before the bride did.
|Thanks, Banana Republic!|
So now, instead of being able to spend a wonderful weekend as Faith, celebrating with friends, taking part in all the traditionally female parts of a wedding, I would be going as a boring old stupid guy. In pants and a nicely pressed shirt and a tie. Yeah, that's right. Instead of a beautiful dress for a summer day, I'd be wearing my friggin' work clothes. My office outfit. Ugh. Stupid boy life.
But, this story has a happy ending! It turns out that my in-laws were all tuckered out and decided to head back to their hotel rather than attend the after-party! My foot started tapping and I tried to will their Uber to show up as quickly as it could. After an intermittently long time where they insisted on saying goodbye to every single person in attendance, they finally got in their car and headed out. I was free!
It was great. I was able to come out to some new people (a few friends from out of town and things) and actually got to be me for at least part of my friends' special day. It made me super happy. Insanely happy. I was the happiest girl in North Happyton.
|I'm also running for Comptroller of Happyton County. Vote for me in Novemeber!|
|Chilling out with the bride. I thought of wearing white, but ultimately decided against it.|
|Making new friends. I'm already up to 108 friends on Facebook!|
Step one is coming out to my sister. Yesterday I bought some nice paper and nice envelopes. I started drafting a letter to her and maybe I'll mail it this weekend. She's already one of my 108 Facebook friends, so she obviously knows.